Fish Out of Water
by A'isha Ishtar
Summary: The ultimate lack of control is signified by being unable to restrain one's own Zanpakuto. Nobody could have done it, but it had been hard for her from the very beginning. She was so pitiful... but in a beautiful way. She was interesting. Yumichika/OC
1. Chapter 1

Yumichika took a break from looking at the embarrassing yet rather humorous scene in front of him, and glanced over at his friend. "How long do you suppose they're going to keep this up?"

"Dunno." Ikkaku was still watching the scene with a gleam of enjoyment in his eye. "It's been going for about five minutes now."

"Honestly." Yumichika turned his attention back to the event unfolding before them. Several men of the 11th Divison (their division) were teasing a newly inducted member of the squad, tossing her papers up and trying to keep her from getting them back. She was jumping and trying to get her things from them, her ponytailed blonde hair whipping as she did so. She was shouting something at them (probably cursing their great-great-grandchildren), but he couldn't make out what it was. "For God's sakes, look at her."

"I know, it's pathetic," Ikkaku chuckled.

Yumichika sighed. At least _one_ person was getting a kick out of this. "Ikkau, they are playing keep-away with her clipboard!"

Ikkaku shrugged. "Hey, it's her fault. She's obviously not ready to be involved here. She shouldn't have joined the 11th if she thought she'd be exempt from something like this. New members are always the best targets - she should have expected going through some kind of iniciation."

"Well, I suppose that's true..." He glanced back at her for a second, and realized how much shorter she was than all of those men. She would probably stand about half a foot shorter than their captain, maybe three inches shorter than himself. She was pale, which made her hair blend in when it came in contact with her skin; it was the kind of pale that would have probably worried someone in the 4th Division. "But I mean, really. Don't you think they're taking it a bit far? One of them just hit her on the head."

"Taking it too far would be if they managed to draw blood."

"Still..." Yumichika looked at the girl, and she was now trying to both shield her head and get her clipboard back. "If it goes on too much longer, I'm going to intervene. A little of that is fine, but they're going a little overboard with her. Besides, they should be doing their jobs, not harassing a defenseless newbie."

"I guess that's true too. But hey, if there's no blood and you defend her, Captain Kenpachi's gonna be pretty pissed. You know his saying-"

"'No gore, no glory,'" Yumichika recited with his friend. "Yeah, I know. He says it every five minutes, how can I not remember it?"

All of a sudden, he heard the girl scream. Both he and Ikkaku snapped their heads back to what was going on with her, and they saw her with a hand over the upper part of her arm. One of the warriors had a knife in his hand, and was laughing his head off. The others were laughing too. Yumichika could see some blood seeping through her fingers.

He stood up. "That's it, I'm going over there. They need to knock it off."

"Have fun."

Yumichika walked over to the group and took the knife away from the man, who he recognized as the 15th seat. "Cut it out! All of you! I should march over right now and tell Captain Kenpachi what you guys have been doing!" He put a hand on the blonde's shoulder, trying to gently lead her away from them. "You all ought to be ashamed of yourselves, attacking a defenseless person - and a woman, no less! Shame on all of you!" He gave the girl a shove over toward Ikkaku. "I'm embarrassed to say that I work with you. Now go do your jobs! And if I catch you harassing her again, you'll all be on bathroom duty for a _month_! Now make yourselves scarce, you bastards."

He watched the men disperse and pushed the girl forward. "Come on. Are you alright?"

She looked up at him, and her blue eyes bore into his own lavender ones. They were bright and electric, and she looked... grateful? "Thank you... I appreciate you looking out for me like that. Nobody's done that since I got here. You're really nice."

He nodded. "How badly did he cut you?"

"Oh..." She looked down at her arm, shaking her head. "It's just a little scratch. I'm fine, really."

Yumichika grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away from the wound. Blood was soaking her sleeve, and dripping off her hand. "Feh. Just how stubborn are you? This needs treated. Stubbornness is very unbecoming, you know."

"So is forcefulness. You're going to break my wrist."

"Oh..." He let go, instead opting to just lead her. "Didn't realize my grip was that hard. Come with me, I'll dress that."

"I can do it myself. I spent time in the 4th Division."

"You can't bandage something on your arm with only one hand. Just let me do it."

She sighed, but he could hear her still following. "... No one's ever cared enough to..."

"Please. Do you really think I care _that_ much? The only reason I'm doing this is because one, you're in my division, and two, you're a woman. There has never been a woman in the 11th Division before... I'm not sure how long you'll last without help."

"You're sexist. What kind of problems would a woman have here? I don't think you should make such statements without knowing me. You don't know me. If you knew me better, maybe you wouldn't say things like that. You can't judge someone without knowing them. Which reminds me, I never got your name, but mine's Koi Chikoto."

He turned around, and this apparently startled the girl, as she had still been walking, and they were now face-to-face, their noses almost touching. "Look, if you don't want my help then fine! I was just trying to be nice because maybe I don't want you getting killed, but if you wanna get yourself killed then be my guest! You're an ugly little thing, you know that? God! You know what? I'm wasting my time and my breath. Just stay away from me, alright?" He stalked off, pushing any thoughts of her from his mind.

The girl stared after him, and then buried her face in her hands, beginning to cry.

Ikkaku sighed and got up, not sure what to make of the whole scene. He decided that 1) Yumichika probably hadn't gotten a lot of sleep last night, and 2) this girl was extremely sensitive.

... She wouldn't last long here.


	2. Chapter 2

The man who had introduced himself to her as Ikkaku Madarame rummaged through the cabinets of the lieutenant's office at the 11th Division. The blonde, Koi, just sat there holding her sleeve over her arm and watching him. She couldn't get over what that other man had said to her. Sure, she was being a little cheeky, but she hardly ever was. She just didn't think he should make the assumption that a female couldn't survive in Kenpachi's squad. Well, that would teach her to speak up when she thought something was wrong. And why did he have to call her ugly? She'd been called that her whole life, she really didn't need to hear it from someone she'd just met. Come to think of it, he'd called her a bunch of things - "ugly" was just one of them. He'd called her stubborn, and basically told her she was weak. She didn't really care that he'd called her weak, because she knew she wasn't strong, but still.

Ikkaku turned around and sat beside her, taking her hand away. He was a little gentler than the other man had been, but not by much. 11th Division men weren't known for being kind and careful, from what she'd heard. "Let's get this cleaned up - if the others smell blood they'll come right for you and just make more of a mess." He began to wipe the crimson liquid away, exposing the almost alabaster skin beneath.

Koi kept her eyes down, her hands both clutching the wood underneath her fingers, as she was sitting on the lieutenant's desk. There was nowhere else to sit. "... That other man back there. The one with the violet hair and the feathers on his eye. Why does he hate me?"

Ikkaku didn't glance up from his work. "He doesn't hate you."

"You heard what he said, and you saw what he did. If he'd gotten any angrier he would have hit me."

"He doesn't hit girls, first of all. And look, about what he said... you know, I don't think he really meant it. I bet he's just jealous."

"Jealous?"

"He probably thinks you're prettier than him or something. Whenever he's jealous, he calls something ugly and/or breaks it."

"... Breaks it?"

"Yeah, there was this really pretty, really unlucky vase in Captain Kenpachi's office..." He chuckled, spraying something on a cloth and then pressing it to her injury. He must have seen her wince, because he sighed a little. "Sorry if it hurts. That's the medicine fighting off the germs."

"I know. Please continue."

"I'm sorry he was like that. He's usually not so... irritable." Ikkaku placed the damp cloth aside and began to wrap bandages around her arm. "I might be able to get him to apologize. He's just... well, I dunno how to explain it, really. He doesn't care if he doesn't know you - he'll still judge you. He judges everything by beauty. But I don't know why he'd say you're ugly. I think you're kinda cute. I'd always thought Yumichika would end up with someone like you - well, if he didn't turn out to be gay, that is. Nobody's really sure about his orientation..."

Koi had to giggle at that. "So that's his name? Yumichika?"

"Yep. Yumichika Ayasegawa, 5th seat of Division Eleven."

"Would you please tell him that my name is Koi Chikoto, an unseated officer in this division?"

"I'll make sure he gets the message. Didn't you already tell him your name, though?"

"He probably doesn't remember it."

"Alright then." Ikkaku tied one last knot in the bandage, not bothering to make it into a bow. "There. It's not too tight, is it?"

"No, it's fine." Koi hopped down from the desk. "Thank you for attending to me, Madarame-san. I appreciate it."

"By the way, here's your clipboard." Ikkaku handed it to her. "What have you got on there?"

"Reminders from Yamamoto-sama to Captain Kenpachi, as well as a recent bill from the 4th Division for... you." She flipped to a paper. "See? Apparently you got hurt last week and the fee still hasn't been paid, so I have to give it to Captain Kenpachi."

"Oh yeah. I remember that - me and Yumichika were horsing around and... ah..." He shook his head. "Never mind. You better scram then. I dunno if Yachiru's gonna be happy to find us in here..."

"Of course. Thank you, Madarame-san. Good-bye." She turned and left.

She really hoped Ikkaku could convince Yumichika to say he was sorry. She didn't want him to stay mad at her... and she wanted to say sorry too.

* * *

Ikkaku walked into the 11th Division break room to find Yumichika dozing on the couch, and Yachiru sitting on the floor eating candy that she'd probably gotten from Ukitake. He sighed; she really didn't need sugar. She was way too hyper normally without that hopping her up even more. Nevertheless, he went over and picked her up by the arm. "Yachiru, I have to talk to Yumichika. Why don't you go find Captain Kenpachi and maybe share some of your candy with him?"

The pinkette nodded, popping another piece of candy into her mouth before she scampered out of the room. "Bye-bye, Cue Ball!"

Ikakku growled. When the hell would she stop calling him that? He gave Yumichika a light punch in the shoulder. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."

"Mmmf." Yumichika shifted and waved him away. "Five more minutes, Mom..."

"Oh, just get the fuck up, bitch!" Ikkaku took his knee to Yumichika's stomach. "I gotta talk to you!"

"Ouch!" Yumichika yelled, finally waking up and falling off the couch. He looked up and quickly rearranged the now-crooked feathers on his eyelash and eyebrow. "And what the hell was that for?"

"Hey, had to wake you up somehow, dude."

Yumichika let out a growling sigh and sat up, smoothing his hair. "What do you want? I was busy."

"Busy sleeping. Anyway, remember that blonde chick that you yelled at those guys for assaulting?"

"Oh yes. That ugly little thing," Yumichika sniffed, crossing his arms. "Why? Did you run into her again? I hope you made her cry."

"Uh, no. She started crying the minute you stormed off after calling her an ugly fatass."

"I never said fat."

"You may as well have. She's really upset - if she was the battle-loving type she'd have followed me back her swinging her Zanpakuto and hoping to land a hit on you."

Yumichika "hmmph"ed, lying back down on the couch. "Why should I care how she feels? She's a weak little nobody."

"Look, she's already got problems with her self-esteem. I went to bandage her arm after you went off in a jealous rage-"

"Jealous of that _thing_?" Yumichika snorted, rolling his eyes. "I think not. What would I have to be jealous of? Her stringy hair? Her knobby knees? The way she talks like she's afraid of everybody? Yeah, _right_. The day I'm jealous of her is the day Kenpachi agrees to let Yachiru put him in a dress."

"That day might not be as far off as you think," Ikkaku muttered. "Anyway, look. I think you, like, crushed what was left of her self-confidence. I went to bandage her arm, and we started talking... and she asked me why you hate her."

"Okay, I did _not_ say I hate her."

"That's what I told her! I said you weren't in a good mood to begin with and... I kinda... promised her that I'd get you to apologize for calling her ugly."

"Well, what the hell did you do that for? I'm not gonna do it."

"Yeah, you are. We _both_ know she's not ugly. She's actually really pretty. You can see that. Anybody with _eyes_ can see that."

"She's not as pretty as _I_ am, which makes her ugly."

"Well, if she was _prettier_ than you, you'd be jealous."

"Ugly."

"Pretty."

"Ugly."

"Pretty."

"_Just go apologize_!" Ikkaku glared at his friend. "She complains to Kenpachi about it, you're gonna get _both_ our asses fired! _Now go_!"


End file.
